Welp...herpes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
