SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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