His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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