He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dick very happy bro
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
