It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
