What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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