Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
