so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize