it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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