I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
