you traded sex for a burrito?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
