mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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