Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
