out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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