Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
