Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
