And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
