just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You can't just leave with hair like that
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
