every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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