Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
