I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Drake has all the answers
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
