Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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