About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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