That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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