She just used a chaser for red wine.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
