take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
