i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize