like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
