Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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