Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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