i need an iv and a liver transplant
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
