Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
