Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
