Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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