Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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