I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Small penises have feelings too.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
