glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
