This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
