Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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