if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize