So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
