I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
