He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Buhtt sex?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
