i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
