My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
