im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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