...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
