If i come over, it means nothing
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
