Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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