we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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