I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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