none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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