I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
