okay pat passed out under dana's car
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
