Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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