I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
