he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
