he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize