Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
