We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
