I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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