So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
