1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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