Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
