Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize