When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
