Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
