I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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