omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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